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Ash's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda/Transcript
Here is the transcript of Ash's Adventures of Kung Fu Panda. Opening/Meet Po the Panda * The Announcer: And now it's for Patchy's Pick, hosted by the great adventure host of all time, Patchy the Pirate. * Patchy the Pirate: Ahoy, fellow fanatics! Welcome to Patchy's Pick. Why don't come on back to the galley, I got a little treat for you today. We're gonna see me favorite Ash's Adventure film, "Kung Fu Panda" Ta-da! * Potty: Boring! * Patchy the Pirate: Well, If it isn't my less-than-amusing sidekick, Potty the Parrot. Potty, say hello to the nice people. * Potty: Bawk! I'm being held here against my will-- Help! * Patchy the Pirate: '''Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh... Oh, Potty come back! Potty? Potty? Were'd you go? Potty, you in here, buddy? (Then the screen reveals that Patchy is in a cannon that is pointing outside the window) * '''Potty: and squawking Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha. * Patchy the Pirate: Get me out of here, you scurvy bird! cannon blasts Patchy out and Patchy screams; he lands in a neighboring house which sinks like a boat. Patchy returns, still smoking from the cannon blast Well, roll the film. *'Po': narrating Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose Kung Fu skills were the stuff of legend. He travelled the land in search of worthy foes. *''Dragon Warrior enters the shop filled with ferocious animal-like thugs. Several of them were holding bunny villagers hostage. The Dragon Warrior sits down and eats his meal.'' *'Gang Boss': I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew on my fist! the table *'Po': narrating The warrior said nothing for his mouth was full. Dragon Warrior raises his hand. Then he swallowed. Dragon Warrior swallowed his meal. And then he spoke. *'Dragon Warrior': Enough talk. Let's fight! SHA-SHA-BOOEY! *''Dragon Warrior delivers a series of punches and kicks and the whole gang goes flying in various directions.'' *'Po': narrating He was so deadly in fact that his enemies would go blind from overexposure to pure awesomeness! *'Ninja Cat': My eyes! *'Gator Bandit': He's too awesome! *'Female Bunny': And attractive. *'Male Bunny': How can we repay you? *'Dragon Warrior': There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness. hundred assassins appear and surround the warrior. The entire bar swells, packed to the rafters with ninjas. KABLOOEY! roof explodes and the warrior with a cloud of ninjas erupts into the sky. Like a tornado, the warrior twists and kicks them away rapidly. *'Po': narrating It mattered not how many foes he faced. They were no match for his bodacity. *''groups of thousands of foes leap at the warrior while in the air, but with a single flashy move he sends them flying. The beaten warriors plummet into the lake like rain as the warrior treks back across the bridge.'' *'Po': narrating Never before had a panda been so feared... and so loved. looks up towards the Jade Palace, where a group of five warriors stand in various poses. Even the most heroic heroes in all of China, the Furious Five, bowed in respect to this great master. *''Five leap down from the palace, land in front of the warrior, and bow respectfully, before flanking in positions on both sides of him.'' *'Monkey': We should hang out. *'Dragon Warrior': Agreed. *''Five strike an attack pose, as they face an army of thousands of bandits.'' *'Po': narrating But hanging out would have to wait. 'Cause when you're facing the ten thousand demons of Demon Mountain— slices off the heads of the bandits' spears with a shiny green sword and leaps into battle with the Five. ... there's only one thing that matters. And that's— *''in mid-air, the Five suddenly talk to the warrior in a strange voice.'' *'Monkey': Po! Get up! *'Tigress': You'll be late for work! *'Dragon Warrior': Whuh? *''warrior suddenly falls, and Po lands hard on a wooden floor of his own room, revealing that the whole battle was actually a dream. He tries to clear his head and wake up.'' *'Mr. Ping': Po! Get up! *''looks around his room and see that it's filled with various kung fu posters (including a poster featuring all of the Five) and souvenirs, and a wooden version of the Sword of Heroes (the green sword). Po sighs and attempts to kick himself to his feet, but finds his belly too worthy a foe.'' *'Mr. Ping': Po! What are you doing up there? *'Po': Uh, nothing! hops to his feet and faces his action figures. Hi-ya! Monkey! Mantis! Crane! Viper! Tigress! Grrraahh— *''on the balcony of the neighboring house, a pig watering flowers stares at Po. Po tries to play it cool and then quickly ducks out of sight.'' * Mr. Ping: '''Po! Let's go! You're be late for work! * '''PO: Coming! takes a ninja star from his floor and chucks it at the wall. It bounces off. He throws the star again, but it bounces off again. He quickly picks it up and heads downstairs where he trips and falls the rest of the way. He falls flat on his face on the kitchen floor. A panda-shaped shadow looms over Po. * PO: Sorry, Dad. * MR. PING: 'Sorry' doesn't make the noodles. that the shadow is actually caused by a basket being carried by a small goose. Po gets to work in the shop's small kitchen. * MR. PING: What were you doing up there, all that noise? * PO: Oh, nothing. Just had a crazy dream. * MR. PING: About what? * PO: Huh? * MR. PING: What were you dreaming about? puts down the basket and begins chopping vegetables next to Po as he listens. * PO: What was I... uh... I was dreaming about... sees Mr. Ping listening expectantly, and can't bring himself to say the truth. He glances down at the bowl he's holding. Uh... noodles. * MR. PING: stops chopping vegetables. Noodles? You were really dreaming about noodles? * PO: Uh, yeah. What else would I be dreaming about? hands a bowl of noodles to a customer, then realizes his throwing star is sitting in it. * PO: customer Oh, careful, that soup is... sharp! * MR. PING: Oh, happy day! My son, finally having the noodle dream! begins rummaging through something and arrives with an apron and a noodle hat. He ties the apron around Po's waist and places the noodle hat in Po's paws. You don't know how long I have been waiting for this moment. This is a sign, Po! * PO: looks at the noodle hat nervously. Uh... a sign of what? * MR. PING: You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my "Secret Ingredient Soup". And then you will fulfill your destiny and take over the restaurant! quickly runs over to section of wall with three portraits and points at them accordingly. Just as I took it over from my father, who took it over from his father, who won it from a friend in a game of mahjong. * PO: Dad, Dad, Dad, it was just a dream. nervously * MR. PING: No, it was the dream. We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins. saying this, he hands two customers their bowls without even looking at them. * PO: But Dad, didn't you ever, I dunno, want to do something else? Something besides noodles? * MR. PING: Actually, when I was young and crazy, I thought about running away and learning how to make tofu. * PO: So why didn't you?! * MR. PING: Oh, because it was a stupid dream. Can you imagine me making tofu? laughs at the thought. No. We all have our place in this world. Mine is here. And yours is— * PO: I know. Is here. * MR. PING: No, it's at tables two, five, seven, and twelve. loads Po's arms with bowls of soup. Service with a smile! *[Later Ash and his friends were in China.] *'Ash Ketchum: ' Well, we're here, everyone. Back in ancient China. * - - - Gurgi: 'Look at that temple up here. Shifu's training session with the Furious Five/Oogway's vision that the Jade Palace. An old red panda is playing a flute. He is surrounded by the bushes and trees that nestle between the Training Hall. From behind the bushes, stealthy dark shapes move in the foreground. He is still playing and seems oblivious. Five figures explode from the undergrowth simultaneously, diving on him. He moves like lightning, the flute now wielded like a staff. He deflects, blocks, dodges, parries, and the attackers go flying. They roll and pick themselves up, turning to face him, who is now standing—poised—ready for their next move. * '''SHIFU: Well done, students... if you were trying to disappoint me.uses his flute to point at the Five, who respectfully bow as their name is mentioned. * SHIFU: Tigress, you need more ferocity. Monkey, greater speed. Crane—height. Viper—subtlety. Mantis * ZENG: Master Shifu.suddenly points the flute at a scared palace goose. * SHIFU: impatiently What?! * ZENG: startled Aah! It's Master Oogway. He wants to see you. looks up, concerned. He runs to the Jade Palace, which is lined with palace geese. The door bursts open. Shifu enters and comes to a halt. Candles and emerald lighting fill the room. He takes a deep breath and bows. * SHIFU: Master Oogway? You summoned me. looks up, still bowing. Is something wrong?looks up at a tortoise shell perfectly balanced on a thin wooden staff. Master Oogway, a wise and elderly tortoise, emerges slowly from his meditative position and climbs down effortlessly. * OOGWAY: Why must something be wrong for me to want to see my old friend? * SHIFU: So... nothing's wrong? * OOGWAY: Well, I didn't say that. looks up, concerned. Oogway opens his mouth... and blows out a candle. And another candle. And another. And another. Oogway opens his mouth to say something, then blows out another candle. Finally, an impatient Shifu uses his kung fu to blow them all out. * SHIFU: You were saying? * OOGWAY: I have had a vision: Tai Lung will return. looks stricken. Quick, impressionistic images of a large, shadowy figure (Tai Lung) flash in his mind. Shifu is rattled. * SHIFU: That is impossible! He is in prison! * OOGWAY: Nothing is impossible. * SHIFU: stares in horror for a second before reacting. Zeng! comes flying in, and Shifu gets in his face. * SHIFU: Fly to Chorh-Gom Prison and tell them to double the guards, double their weapons. Double everything! Tai Lung does not leave that prison! * ZENG: Yes, Master Shifu! goose flies off, but then hits a column. Then he is off. Back on Oogway, as he walks away from Shifu. * OOGWAY: himself One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it. * SHIFU: rushes back to Oogway. ''W-we have to do something. We can't just let him march on the Valley and take his revenge! He'll, he'll— * '''OOGWAY:' looks into the water of the Moon Pool. Your mind is like this water, my friend. When it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear. and Oogway stare into the pool. Oogway settles the water with his staff, revealing the reflection of an intricately-carved dragon clutching a scroll in its mouth. * SHIFU: looks up. The Dragon Scroll... * OOGWAY: up with Shifu. It is time. * SHIFU: at Oogway. But who? Who is worthy to be trusted with the secret to limitless power? To become... the Dragon Warrior? * OOGWAY: short pause. I don't know. smiles. Shifu stares at him. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ash and his gang meet Po for the first time/Dragon Warrior tournament - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - *'Ash Ketchum': Uh, Po, are you sure about this? This seems pretty dangerous. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ash and gang meet Shifu, Oogway, and the Furious Five *''wakes up from his impact as the Furious Five look down at him.'' *'Po': groans What's going on? Where, uh... Oogway pointing at him What are you pointing...Oh! Okay. Sorry. I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was. *'Oogway': How interesting. *'Ash Ketchum': Po! in the crowd with his friends Are you okay? *''crowd gasps in surprise. The Furious Five, Shifu, and Oogway are also surprised.'' *'Brock': Why is everyone looking at us like that? *'Oogway': Well, wax my shell! Humans and dinosaurs! Here in the Valley of Peace! - - *'Monkey': Ash's legs Look at that! He's got long legs like you, Crane. *'Crane': That he does. laughs But he sure doesn't have a beak, wings, or any feathers either. *'Mantis': He doesn't have an antenna. That's for sure. *'Viper': *'Tigress': Pikachu What an unusual creature. *'Shifu': Ahem! Aren't you all forgetting something? The Dragon Warrior? *'Crane': Oh, yeah. *'Misty': Dragon Warrior? *'Taran': What's that? *'Tigress': Master, are you pointing at me? *'Oogway': Him. *'Po': Who? *'Oogway': You. *'Po': Me? *'Littlefoot': You're pointing at Po? Why? *'Oogway': Po's arm with his staff The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior! *'Po': What? *'The Furious Five': What?! *'Shifu': What?! *'Ash and gang': What?! *'Mr. Ping': What?! - - - *'Ash Ketchum': Po? The Dragon Warrior?! *'Brock': How is this possible? *'Misty:' I don't know. *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- Warn the Guards about Tai Lung Escaping *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- At Jade Palace *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- *- Ending (Back to Patchy) * Patchy the Pirate: '''Ahoy, children! I'm back! I hope all you boys and girls enjoyed the show because it's time for you to walk the plank! reads: PLEASE STAND BY Oh, sorry, kids. What I meant to say was it's time for fan mail! horn * '''Old-time crowd: Hooray! * Patchy the Pirate: And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, so get ready to blow milk out of your nose because we're gonna open a letter! The envelope please Potty. Thank you, my fine feathered assistant. * Potty: has a lighten fuse on his head Brawk, you're not welcome. * Patchy the Pirate: blows his nose Hey, Potty, do you smell something? Oh, Potty! That fuse in your head! I told you we're not doing that stunt! * Potty: Brawk, I didn't get the memo! Brawk! blows up along with Patchy; Patchy coughs up a feather and recovers from the blast * Patchy the Pirate: Well, that’s it for Patchy's Pick. Hooray! collapses to the floor THE END!!! Category:Transcripts